Aug 31, 2011 – Standing alone on the deck. The sky hints of pink, but promises light moment by moment. I hear every silent breath, mine and the trees’.
Ellen arrives like an apparition from the dark, whispers in my ear that someone or some thing whispered in her ear, awakening her with the sound of her own name.
Arising to follow the call, she found the door standing open…now she is standing next to me. We are silent.
Suddenly movement in the dark dawn, down below us, in the trees.
We follow the movement, separate, and disappear from one another.
I wander through waist high grass –
find nothing and no one, not even Ellen.
7 AM sit is silent, still, free.
What is it I love about Colorado? Surely it is the sapciousness, like in New Mexico. The trees in Colorado give space a shape without using it up. A tree must surely know its own empty self, just like the sky and the clouds- like they know they are not separate at all.
August 22, 2012
Respect for that which I have no respect, may take me a long way down my spiritual path.
That which I do not respect, is placed somewhere outside of my mind, and therefore out of my conscious experience – excluded.
“Preference” is written all over it. Zen is the art of non-preference.
Embodying that which I do not respect = being whole, being one with all beings. Humility is here. Empathy is here. Compassion is here- in the embodiment of my experience as a whole.
Today as I drew breath down into my belly, it filled up almost all the space inside me, but I paused and then breathed in a little more and my front and back were separated from one another as the space between expanded. A full breath cycle swept exhale and inhale along the undersides of my rib cage and massaged the tissues in front of my spine. Breath gently soothed all the tender places inside and alongside my spine, and the lightning strike of disc contacting nerve became more like strong river flowing. “Breath sweeps mind”, I guess.
Venturing back to work, cautiously, after a term of disability. Taking one step at a time, literally, going slowly along with single pointed focus. Grateful to to the pain that will not allow mindless movement? I suppose yes. Most grateful for the practices I have learned to heal myself , including those which teach me to accommodate my experience in every moment, no matter what it is.
For now, I am practicing what I preach, and we will see how that goes. So far, so good.
I am your mother
Even your brother, son, father
Look into me
Release your hold
And be free