Wow, what a loaded word, it turns out – attachment. From before birth, human beings attach to that which we perceive to be directly responsible for our survival, but not only survival. That is just the first task.
Attachment is one of those things, like the ego, that we cannot live without yet sometimes cannot live with it either. A case of poison and wisdom in the same pill. So therapeutically, only positive psychology will do. Strengthen strengths and look for their wisdom. Allow seeds of doubt to lie still for awhile.
See what arises, such as awareness of how well one takes care of ones own needs, or at least how prevalent are the opportunities, which have the potential to be missed. Apparently when we “aren’t hung up on getting other people to see or support them (our needs)”, we can focus on other needs (Cori, J L. (2010).
For adults, or young people, with disordered attachments, one key may be to discover one’s own capabilities and capacities for self care. I looked into the mirror one day and said, “I love you and I will take care of you.” Then I had to follow up, with continual kindness to myself and continual deep looking in the mirror of life to find the mother I had been seeking. I found her inside.